Couple of good ones from clik in the UK

clik says:

A chap sees an advert in a pet shop window for a talking centipede, priced at £500. Thinking he's found a bargain, he buys it and takes it home in a box. After about 30 minutes, he opens the box and politely asks if the centipede would like to go down the pub for a pint, but the centipede doesn't answer, so a couple of minutes later, he asks again, but still no response. He starts to get a bit annoyed and thinking he's been done he shouts the question again, at which the centipede pops his head out of the box and says, "I heard you the first time you fool, I'm putting my shoes on!"

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Posted on 22 Dec 2012 17:10:58 GMT

clik says:

A guy goes in an adult store and asks for an inflatable doll.The guy behind the counter says, "Male or female?"The customer says, "Female"The counter guy asks, "Black or white?"The customer says, "White"The counter guy asks, "Christian or Muslim?"The customer says, "What the hell does religion have to do with it?"The counter guy says, "The Muslim one blows itself up!"