Telegraph | Expat | Movers and shakers on Spanish motorways

Movers and shakers on Spanish motorways
By Georgina Cronin
(Filed: 01/03/2005)


My husband worked in Madrid for three years before I finally joined him. During my visits, I would sit, white knuckled, in the passenger seat while my husband drove.

Unaffected by my barely controlled hysteria, he manoeuvred with the panache of someone who had clearly driven in Spain for more than just a two-week holiday. Then came the crunch. I was going to have move, permanently, from Ireland to Spain. I was going to have to get behind the wheel.

I have been driving, all over the world, for over 30 years. For the last 15 I have driven sports cars, but my only thought was: "Give me a tank." In fact, if the Humvee had been available at that time I probably would have held out for one.

Instead I settled for the Subaru Forester Turbo and hoped for the best. The drive from Ireland to Spain across France offered me the chance to hone my defensive driving skills, as the hazards seem to increase the further south we travelled.


The unwary beware: hazards are commonplace on Spanish roads
After two years of driving between Madrid and the Costa del Sol frequently, I am now in a position to offer some advice to the unwary.

General observations

You will notice that many cars in Spain seem to have left the factory with some interesting variations. Most appear to have been manufactured without indicator lights or rear-view mirrors.

Many drivers in Spain have adapted their driving "styles'' from "La Lidia'', as the art of bullfighting is also known. A bullfight fan screams "Olé'' not because the matador has won, but because of the form, the grace, the wit, the dexterity of the performance. This enthusiasm for the sport is translated into Spanish driving.

The Charge

When traffic lights are red, or about to go red, they must be charged at. "Red'' means that only three more cars can go through and speed is of the essence. Contact with others is to be avoided – but the closer the pass the greater the "Olé".

The Horn

If, by some mischance, one arrives at the lights too late to execute "The Charge'', preparations to execute "The Horn'' must be swiftly made. Time generally has little meaning in Spain – but not at traffic lights. The time between the red light and the first horn can be measured in nanoseconds.

The Weave

This manoeuvre is generally reserved for the busiest part of the rush hour, where a sufficient density of slow moving vehicles is available. If you are vigilant, you can sometimes be lucky enough to spot the initial phases of "The Weave'' in your rear view mirror. A car, travelling at a minimum of 80 miles an hour suddenly veers from the fast lane of the motorway, darts across the centre and enters the slow lane, passing as close as possible to all traffic in its path.

The most dextrous practitioners of this move also incorporate the hard shoulder, as it improves the "slingshot'' effect as they whip back into the traffic again.

"The Weave'' is then repeated until the vehicle is right behind you. You can only maintain your steady speed, and nerve, as "The Weaver" completes his manoeuvre behind, beside, and just in front of your bumper.

The Yield

You can best observe this pass on roundabouts and junctions. Its essential philosophy can be summarised as "it is better to die than give way''. The right of way on roundabouts, and many junctions, can be disputed, so never, ever give way.

Do not be lulled into a false sense of security by your own use of indicators. These are there simply for your own enjoyment, and nobody else's.

The Scurry

Since speed limits generally appear to be optional, this simple pass can be used at all times. It is important to travel as fast as possible, regardless of road, traffic, or weather conditions. The experts can often be seen combining "The Scurry'' with "The Weave''.

There is only one situation where the "The Scurry'' should not be used – when a police car is in sight. This only applies if it is the traffic police. All other police cars are fair game and should be flashed and hassled until they move over.

The Affront

There is no denying that the parking talents in Spain rank among the most inventive in Europe. Favourite places include; nose in on a pedestrian crossing, on a corner facing the wrong way, or double-parked.

The simplest mode of "The Affront'' is carried out by parking with your offside door as close as possible to the driver's side door of the "subject'' vehicle. More interesting results can be achieved if you can choose a car where the "The Affront" has already been well carried out on the other side by another practitioner.

For further advice on driving in Spain please refer to the Beginner's guide to bullfighting. Happy driving!

Georgina Cronin is author of Size Matters and Just an Odd Job Girl.

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