Andrew Malcolm
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Iowa sex case prompts profound personal decision
Andrew Malcolm look-alike
Maybe you too thought with that fiscal cliff band-aid we were done with serious problems for a while.
Nope.
You may have heard about the Iowa dental assistant, Melissa Nelson? Poor thing. Her employer of 10 years, Dr. James Knight, fired the 32-year-old woman for being "irresistible." And the other day all seven men on the Iowa Supreme Court ruled that, why yes, having seen the plaintiff, that seems like a reasonable decision by their fellow male.
Especially given that Mrs. Knight, the dentist's wife who gives away about 20 years to the married assistant, had demanded that her husband dump the hottie from the office payroll.
Although the dentist and his assistant exchanged everyday texts, there was no suggestion of flirting, harassment or extra-marital drilling. The 53-year-old dentist claimed he had complained about his assistant's tight clothing. That sounds like something any married male with only female employees would say to a wife, even a suspicious one.
And naturally a seven-member panel of male judges would unanimously accept the upstanding dentist's understandable concerns over society's lax mores that permit suggestive clothing on irresistible female bodies. Whatever could these soulless women be thinking?
Think about it. What normal American male would ever want to endure exposure hourly to an irresistible female in tight clothing leaning over to invade his workspace? Especially when he's concentrating on things like, "Open wide" or "You've got a cavity!"
Mrs. Nelson's attorney, Paige Fiedler, noted: "These judges sent a message to Iowa women that they don't think men can be held responsible for their sexual desires and that Iowa women are the ones who have to monitor and control their bosses' sexual desires." That seems about right.
As anyone can readily see, although this court decision applies only to Iowa, the worrisome legal precedent carries serious ramifications for husbands across the entire country. And what overwhelmingly attractive person wants to risk losing employment with new job growth still so stagnant under President Obama?
Full disclosure, females have over the years demonstrated an understandable, if unfortunate, attraction to us. It's just something, as an irresistible individual, you learn to live with. But we don't want to lose our job like Melissa Nelson.
We have informed our primary wife that we've now begun more closely monitoring the clothing tightness, skirt length, neck curvature and cleavage on virtually every irresistible female encountered in our busy column-writing life. Sadly, such precautions become necessary during liberal White House regimes.
Of course, we also informed said spouse that she too is irresistible. And out of an abundance of caution, we revealed that at times we may have attempted to speak with numerous attractive ladies, to complain about what they were doing by being irresistible. We would have definitely fired them had we ever hired any.
Additionally, we have announced that to avoid any possible legal entanglements like this disturbing Iowa case, until America's irresistible females stop their physical provocations, we are prepared to sacrifice and will until further notice confine ourself to voluntarily working only from home in our cluttered little office with high-speed Internet.
Read More At IBD: http://news.investors.com/politics-andrew-malcolm/010713-639136-melissa-nelson-james-knight-irresistible-assistant-court-case.htm#ixzz2HOzuEAaD
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