A woman is having a French evening so sends her husband out to buy some fresh snails. The husband buys the snails then pops in the pub for a quick drink. One thing leads to another and he stays for a few rounds, so many in fact, that by the time he leaves it's nine in the evening.
Realising he's extremely late the husband runs home, pours the snails on the path leading up to his house, pushes the doorbell. His furious wife opens the door and screams "Where on earth have you been?"
The husband waves at the snails and shouts "Come on lads, we're almost there!"