Texas--gotta love it!!

The owner of a golf course in Lufkin was confused about paying an
invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical
help. He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from
The University of Texas and I need some help. If I were to give
you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?" The
secretary thought a moment, then replied, "Everything but my
earrings." You gotta love those East Texas women.

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A group of Tyler friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos
for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone,
staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck. "Where's
Henry?" the others asked. "Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a
couple of miles back up the trail," the successful hunter
replied. "You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer
back?" they inquired. "A tough call," nodded the hunter. "But I
figured no one is going to steal Henry!"

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A senior at Texas A&M was overheard saying. "When the end of the
world comes, I hope to be in East Texas. When asked why, he
replied he'd rather be in East Texas because everything happens in
East Texas 20 years later than in the rest of the civilized world.

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The young man from Texas A&M came running into the store and said
to his buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from
the parking lot!"
Bubba replied, "Did you see who it was?"
The young man answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got the license
number."

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NEWS FLASH! -Brian/College Station's worst disaster occurred when
a small two-seater Cessna 150 plane, piloted by two Texas A&M
students, crashed into a cemetery earlier today. Search and Rescue
workers have recovered 300 bodies so far and expect the number to
climb as digging continues into the evening. The pilot and copilot
survived! and are helping in the recovery efforts.

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A Texas State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-20.
The trooper asked, "Got any ID?"
The driver replied, "Bout whut?"

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A man in Tyler had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the
road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the
car and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait. A
passerby studied the scene as he drove by and was so curious he
turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem
was. The man replied, "I have a flat tire." The passerby
asked, "But what's with the flowers?" The man responded, "When you
break down they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in
the back! I never did understand it either."