Babe Kylie's simply botiful

Bum's the word ... Kylie in today's Sun
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By DOMINIC MOHAN
The man who's touched it


THIS must rank as one of the wonders of the world ... Kylie Minogue’s bottom.

I should know — I’ve touched it. And I can confirm her bum is the most sumptuous in showbusiness.

Now I don’t want you thinking I’m some kind of perv. It was an accident, honest.

Kylie was dancing at a party after a gig at London’s Hammersmith Apollo when my hand connected with her rear.

Much booze had been consumed by both of us and as I stumbled across the dancefloor she backed into me.

It all happened very quickly but my hand rested there long enough to make an assessment. I had expected her bum to be bony. But it was soft like a ripened fruit.

I apologised profusely and walked off. Later I looked down at my right mitt. Raising it skyward. I screamed: “Yesssss.”

Several months later, I was interviewing Jennifer Lopez. As we rose from the sofa at the end of our chat, my hand brushed against America’s most famous butt. J-Lo’s cheeks are larger, like a pumped up version of her Aussie rival’s.ims could not manifest warmth in the dungeon that was my soul. And thus I conclude, "for every up there is a down, for every smile there is a frown, and thats what makes the world go round!" (an excerpt of the song from Disney's 'Sword in the Stone'). Maybe for people with more internal pressure, the homeostasis never really hits neutrality. This is especially true for younger people.

Children have alot of passion. Passion creates energy. Energy builds internal pressure, and that is why children are never quite what we percieve as "normal". They always do things in extremes....when they play, when they talk/scream, when they eat....even their thinking is rather eccentric and is inevitably cherished by society these days. However their passion is blind passion. Its an instinctive passion. When they h