RODENT REMORSE
Walking the Fine Line Between Having Fun and Giving Offense
BY THE RODENT
A number of years ago, former junk bond king Michael Milken was released from prison. As a condition of his release, Mr. Milken was required to obtain a job. He took a position in his lawyer’s office as a paralegal.

In the next issue of The Rodent newsletter, it was noted that Milken had changed his mind and declined the conditions of his parole. He was then quoted saying that incarceration was preferable to working with a bunch of lawyers, and that making license plates in the pen was more interesting than summarizing depositions at The Firm. The piece went on to say that prison guards treated Mr. Milken better than law firm associates did, and that the warden was "a much nicer guy" than The Firm’s managing partner.

Obvious satire, right? Well, it was satire–but evidently not so obvious. A paralegal association asked to reprint the article in its monthly publication. A week or so after it appeared, I received a call from the editor. She wanted to confirm that the story was accurate because some readers weren’t sure.
Seems I had a similar experience with an article I wrote last month for this publication in a column that made references to estate planning attorneys. Satire or not, some estate planning lawyers were offended. An apology appeared in the Sept. 27 issue of eReport saying the article was "disappointing to many."

While I admit that my columns are often disappointing, they are never meant to offend. The main reason I continue to write is the feedback I get that The Rodent brings a bit of color to a profession that, let’s face it, can be a grind. And I generally don’t worry about offending lawyers. To their credit, attorneys are probably more self-critical than any other professionals. I doubt there are any Rodent-like columns appearing in publications for plumbers or surgeons or stockbrokers. The fact that an American Bar Association publication runs The Rodent column says great things about our profession.

The most common complaint I hear about my articles is that they don’t go far enough. I once wrote an article making fun of judges–only after several of them begged me to do it. And guess what. I got a ton of letters from judges saying I hit the nail on the head and telling me things about their own courtrooms that I could have used. That sort of feedback makes me feel like The Rodent is a mammal of the people.

I also want to mention that I do exercise some discretion in my writing. I am careful, for instance, not to attack individuals based on their membership in certain protected classes–race, religion, gender, law firm office manager.

I also know that it is wrong to make gross generalizations about people, even if gross generalizations can be really funny.

In my newsletter, I used to write personality profiles of law firm characters. There was the of counsel, the bow-tie-wearing partner, the first-year-son-of-a-client associate, the senior executive secretary. This feature contained nothing but gross generalizations, and it was hugely popular. I think maybe gross generalizations can also be accurate. Many readers said they were sure I worked at their firm because I had perfectly pegged someone in their office.

So, going forward, I hope it helps to know that The Rodent is just for fun. At the same time, I don’t mean to tell anyone to lighten up. That’s not something you tell any lawyer. I do, however, want to tell estate planning lawyers that I have an upcoming column making fun of patent attorneys that I think they’ll find hilarious.

©2002 ABA Journal