JUST WHAT LAWYERS NEED--HOOPLA!: "JUST WHAT LAWYERS NEED--HOOPLA!
Let the Games Begin for an ABA All-Star Weekend
BY SEAN CARTER

As we all know, the legal profession is suffering from an image problem. Lawyers seem to be about as popular as the WB prime-time lineup (although not nearly as stupid).

I have spent the better part of the last three minutes pondering this problem, and I think I�ve found a solution to our public perception woes. We need to find a way to let the general public view the good work that we do. Therefore, I�m proposing that we replace this year�s annual meeting of the American Bar Association with a special three-day event for the general public�the ABA All-Star Weekend.
This weekend, the National Basketball Association will gather its biggest and brightest stars in one place to showcase their talents to adoring fans at the NBA All-Star Weekend. Why can�t we do the same thing?

For instance, at this year�s event, NBA superstars will compete in the 989 Sports Skills Challenge. In this competition, players will try to complete a circuit of dribbling, shooting and passing obstacles in the fastest time. At the ABA All-Star Weekend, we could have a similar competition�the Starbucks Skills Challenge. Lawyers would race through a crowded courthouse while talking on a cell phone, checking e-mail, sipping hot coffee and pulling a rolling briefcase containing 300 pounds of documents.

Likewise, each year the NBA holds its Foot Locker Three-Point Shootout. We could hold a similar contest�the Excedrin Three-Minute Shout Out. In this competition, opposing counsel would compete by shouting insults at each other for up to three minutes. The first lawyer to threaten the other lawyer with physical violence or a referral to the state bar disciplinary committee loses the contest. I�m already predicting that this eve"