Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a
slowdown in the performance of the flower and jewelry applications
that had operated flawlessly under the Boyfriend 5.0 system. In
addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs, such
as Romance 9.9,
but installed undesirable programs such as NFL 7.4, NBA 3.2 and NHL
4.1. Conversation 8.0 also no longer runs and Housecleaning 2.6 simply
crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these
problems,
but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed, Desperate



Dear Desperate,


First, keep in mind that Boyfriend 5.0 was an entertainment package,
while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Try to enter the command
:/ITHOUGHTYOULOVEDME and install Tears 6.2. Husband 1.0 should then
automatically run the applications Guilt 3.3 and Flowers 7.5. But
remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to such background
applications as Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1.
Please remember that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will create
SnoringLoudly.WAV files. DO NOT install Mother-In-Law 1.0 or reinstall
another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and
will crash Husband 1.0. They could also potentially cause Husband 1.0
to default to the program Girlfriend 9.2, which runs in the background
and has been known to introduce potentially serious viruses into the
Operating System.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have a limited
memory and can't learn new applications quickly. You might consider
buying additional software to enhance his system performance. I
personally recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Single Malt Scotch 4.5.

Good Luck.

Tech Support