Don't Axe!

A Zebra dies and arrives at the Pearly Gates... As he enters, he asks St. Peter, 'I have a question that's haunted me all of my days on earth. Am I white with black stripes, or am I black with white stripes?'

St. Peter said, 'That's a question only God can answer.'

So the zebra went off in search of God.

When he found Him, the zebra asked, 'God, please - I must know Am I white with black stripes, or am I black with white stripes?'

God simply replied 'You are what you are.'

The zebra returned to see St. Peter once more, who asked him, 'Well, did God straighten out your query for you?'

The zebra looked puzzled.. 'No sir, God simply said 'You are what you are.''

St. Peter smiled and said to the zebra, 'Well then, there you are. You are white with black stripes..'

The zebra asked St. Peter, 'How do you know that for certain?'

'Because,' said St. Peter, 'If you were black with white stripes, God would have said, 'You is what you is..'

Chris Christie Call to Mobilize

Watch it here:  link

Arrrrrg!

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Praying at the Pirate Altar: Sweden’s Newest Religion

By LLMinc, on August 28th, 2012

File sharing remains ubiquitous despite the longstanding legal and enforcement battles the RIAA and governments around the world continue to wage (with varying degrees of effort). In fact, file-sharing is so popular that it’s almost a religion to some people– scratch that– it is actually a religion in Sweden now. They call themselves Kopimists, and their religion, Kopimism, is now recognized by the Swedish government as a bona fide faith. Even as church membership across Sweden plummets, The Kopimists now boast more than 8,000 members and show every sign of continuing to grow—having even applied to the government for the right to perform marriages and receive subsidies awarded by the state for religious organizations.

While a religion based on the idea that file sharing is sacred may seem bizarre, it is perhaps no stranger than the now years-old pirate political parties in Sweden, Germany, and other countries. Indeed,Germany’s Pirate Party won 8% of the votes in the North Rhine-Westphalia  state election in May, giving them 18 parliament seats. In light of these successes it may be unwise to dismiss Kopimism as a mere joke or attack on religion.

Serious or not, it is fitting that Kopimism was founded in Sweden, the country where the infamous file-sharing site The Pirate Bay is located. The Pirate Bay is notorious for being resilient in the face of concerted efforts to take it down. Following recent rulings by a Dutch Court and Britain’s High Court, the governments of both countries tried to block the site, but the measures put into place to block it werecircumvented by The Pirate Bay within minutes.

Indeed, the numerous different strategies that various anti-piracy organizations, such as the RIAA, have attempted to combat piracy all seem to have come up short. First, they attempted to shut down the file-sharing sites and programs themselves. This led to the high-profile lawsuits like the one against the first widely popular music-sharing site, Napster, in 1999. When alternate peer-to-peer based networks appeared on the scene to replace Napster, the RIAA adopted a new strategy. In 2003 it began suing individual users for uploading copyright-infringing material as a public warning to file-sharers that there would be serious consequences for illegal file-sharing. After 5 years and over 18,000 file-sharers sued, the RIAA ended this campaign as well because it was having little effect on the widespread usage of illegal peer-to-peer file sharing networks. The RIAA’s lawsuits were so prolific that Wired Magazine reported a 50% drop in federal copyright infringement lawsuits from 2005 to 2009, and a drop of almost a third from 2008 to 2009.

If governments and other organizations fighting illegal file-sharing hope to make any progress, they may need to consider a fundamental adjustment to their strategy because right now it would be very difficult to argue that the momentum in this fight rests anywhere but with the file-sharers. They even have their own religion!

Doctor Howard Hurtz

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Crime in Progress

Found these jokes on a British web site and I wold submit that each one constitutes a serious criminal offense!

The Perfect Job 

My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned.....couldn't concentrate.

Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.

After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it...mainly because it was a so-so job.

Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that was too exhausting.

I wanted to be a barber, but I just couldn't cut it.

Then I tried to be a chef-figured it would add a little spice to my life but I just didn't have the thyme.

I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard.

My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found I wasn't noteworthy.

I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have any patience.

Next was a job in a shoe factory; I tried but I just didn't fit in. 

I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.

I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.

I got a job at a zoo feeding giraffes but I was fired because I wasn't up to it.

So then I got a job in a workout centre, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.

After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it.

My last job was working at Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.

I CAN'T WAIT TO RETIRE. I THINK I AM PERFECT FOR THE JOB!

Poultry in Motion

John Cleese: Threat Alerts 2012 Europe

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in Syria and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

 

The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards." They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.

 

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively paralysing the country's military capability.

 

Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

 

The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose."

 

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

 

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

 

Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be alright, Mate." Two more escalation levels remain: "Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!" and "The barbie is cancelled." So far no situation has ever warranted use of the last final escalation level.

 

-- John Cleese - British writer, actor and tall person A final thought -“ Greece is collapsing, the Iranians are getting aggressive, and Rome is in disarray. Welcome back to 430 BC."

Fueling Mexican Crime

Your tax dollars at work. link

Fast and Furious Oversight Committee Links

PSYCHOLOGISTS BLACKLIST CONSERVATIVE COLLEAGUES 'The more liberal respondents are, the more willing they are to discriminate'

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... Radical liberals see liberal principles as revealed truth, admitting of no debate.”

“They are confident they are right and therefore justified in holding their biases and acting on them,” he continued. “The irony is that their policies are immoral (redistributing wealth is theft, affirmative action rewards inferiority and penalizes success); destructive (their policies corrupt the character of the people and undermine the productivity needed to overcome poverty); and historically disastrous (their policies exploit and tyrannize the people and ultimately destroy social order).”

He said, “We should be glad this research affirms what everyone knows informally: that colleges, universities, the mainstream media, and the entertainment industry are at least 80 percent Kool Aid drinkers who endorse liberal madness. Then we had better join the tea party and support other conservative causes that can get out the message that liberalism is a fatal disease.”

He said the alternative isn’t pleasant.

“If they don’t, we will all join the ongoing economic, social and political train wreck that is now Europe. In fact, Europe is the crowning glory of the modern liberal agenda. It is the inevitable result of liberal madness, applied to every societal institution at every level: economic, fiscal, financial, monetary, social/communitarian, marital/familial, political, ethical, moral, legal, educational, spiritual, and military,” he said.

“Europe is in decay because of its modern parental state and modern permissive culture, the twin arms of the modern liberal agenda. It is financially and morally beyond bankruptcy; it must corrupt its currency to postpone collapse of its banking system and keep governments from default; it is unable to defend itself militarily against anybody, or intellectually and spiritually against the encroachment of Islam; it is unable to maintain or defend philosophically its Western heritage of freedom based on individualism; its declining birthrate cannot sustain its dwindling Anglo-European population; and it is dissolving its culture in the secular nihilism and hedonism of la dolce vita (the sweet life),” he said.

“Other than that, everything is just fine.”