HUMOR FOR LEXOPHILES (LOVERS OF WORDS):

* I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

* Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

* Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

* The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.

* The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

* To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

* When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.

* The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was described as "a small medium at large."

* A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

* A thief fell in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.

* Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.

* We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply.

* When the smog lifts in Los Angeles , U.C.L.A.

* The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it.

* The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.

* The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

* If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.

* A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.

* A backward poet writes inverse.

* If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

* With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

* When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

* A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.

* You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

* He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.

* A calendar's days are numbered.

* A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.

* A plateau is a high form of flattery.

* Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

* If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.

* When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.

Seamen's lien

Claims for wages by seamen occupy a preferential place in the echelon of maritime liens, and indeed, a bedrock of maritime law is that seamen's wages are sacred liens, so that as long as a plank of the ship remains, the sailor is entitled, against all other persons, to the proceeds as a security for his wages.
Admiral Cruise Services, Inc. v. M/V ST. TROPEZ, 2007 WL 4324817 (2007)

Famous Left Handed People

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Left-Handed U.S. Presidents

James A. Garfield (1831-1881) 20th
Herbert Hoover (1874-1964) 31st
Harry S. Truman (1884-1972) 33rd
Gerald Ford 38th
Ronald Reagan (1911 - 2004 ) 40th
George H.W. Bush 41st
Bill Clinton 42nd

Hmmm...

Write him

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Technical Stock-Picking

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Technical Stock-Picking: Make Your Move With the 'MACD'
Stockpickr Staff
02/15/08 - 05:36 PM EST
This technical analysis-based assignment was written by Stockpickr member Ira Krakow.

One of the most common problems that a stock technician faces is that not all buy or sell signals are genuine. A signal, such as a bullish candle on a one-minute candle chart, a stock price crossing its 20-day moving average, or the price touching the upper Bollinger Band, may be only a temporary blip. The very next minute, the price might reverse sharply. Placing a buy order relying on one indicator over a short time frame -- a "false positive" -- could result in a big loss. Enter the "MACD."

A Look at Capital One's Chart

Technicians use the MACD (Moving Average Convergence/Divergence) either to confirm the potential buy or sell decision (a "convergence") or to detect a false positive (a "divergence").

Here's a daily candle chart for Capital One Financial COF . . .

Can a Drug That Helps Hearts Be Harmful to the Brain?

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HEALTH JOURNAL
By MELINDA BECK
February 12, 2008; Page D1
(See Corrections & Amplifications item below.)

Cognitive side effects like memory loss and fuzzy thinking aren't listed on the patient information sheet for Lipitor, the popular cholesterol-lowering drug. But some doctors are voicing concerns that in a small portion of patients, statins like Lipitor may be helping hearts but hurting minds.

SIDE EFFECTS OF STATINS


• Like every medication, statins also have side effects such as muscle aches and memory loss that can be difficult to measure. What's your experience been with statins? Join a discussion1.

• Health Mailbox:2 Melinda Beck reviews the procedure recommended to care for someone who is unconscious.

"This drug makes women stupid," Orli Etingin, vice chairman of medicine at New York Presbyterian Hospital, declared at a recent luncheon discussion sponsored by Project A.L.S. to raise awareness of gender issues and the brain. Dr. Etingin, who is also founder and director of the Iris Cantor Women's Health Center in New York, told of a typical patient in her 40s, unable to concentrate or recall words. Tests found nothing amiss, but when the woman stopped taking Lipitor, the symptoms vanished. When she resumed taking Lipitor, they returned.

"I've seen this in maybe two dozen patients," Dr. Etingin said later, adding that they did better on other statins. "This is just observational, of course. We really need more studies, particularly on cognitive effects and women."

Pfizer Inc.'s Lipitor is the world's best-selling medicine, with revenues of $12.6 billion in 2007. The company says that its safety and efficacy have been demonstrated in more than 400 clinical trials and 145 million patient years of experience, and that the extensive data "do not establish a causal link between Lipitor and memory loss." Pfizer also says it draws conclusions about adverse events from a variety of sources "as opposed to anecdotal inferences by individual providers with a limited data pool."

World-wide, some 25 million people take statins, including Zocor, Mevacor, Crestor, Pravachol and Vytorin. As a group, they are widely credited with reducing heart attacks and strokes in people at high risk, though the benefits are less clear in people who are not at high risk, particularly women and the elderly. Some 15% of patients complain of side effects; muscle aches and liver toxicity are the most recognized to date. But anecdotes linking statins to memory problems have been rampant for years.

On balance, most cardiologists see . . .

Government Medical Plan

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Don't treat the old and unhealthy, say doctors

By Laura Donnelly, Health Correspondent
Last Updated: 12:01am GMT 27/01/2008

Have your say Read comments


Doctors are calling for NHS treatment to be withheld from patients who are too old or who lead unhealthy lives.

Have your say: Should lifestyle play a role in deciding who gets NHS treatment?

Smokers, heavy drinkers, the obese and the elderly should be barred from receiving some operations, according to doctors, with most saying the health service cannot afford to provide free care to everyone.


£1.7 billion is spent treating diseases caused by smoking, such as lung cancer and emphysema


Fertility treatment and "social" abortions are also on the list of procedures that many doctors say should not be funded by the state.

The findings of a survey conducted by Doctor magazine sparked a fierce row last night, with the British Medical Association and campaign groups describing the recommendations from family and hospital doctors as "out­rageous" and "disgraceful".

About one in 10 hospitals already deny some surgery to obese patients and smokers, with restrictions most common in hospitals battling debt.

Managers defend the policies ...