Monday, July 28, 2008

Doctor! My eyes!



When a panel of doctors was asked to vote on adding a new wing to their hospital, the Allergists voted to scratch it and the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves.

The Gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it, but the Neurologists thought the Administration had a lot of nerve, and the Obstetricians felt they were all laboring under a misconception.

The Ophthalmologists considered the idea shortsighted; the Pathologists yelled, 'Over my dead body, while the Pediatricians said, 'Oh, Grow up!'

The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, the Radiologists could see right through it, and the Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing.

The Internists thought it was a bitter pill to swallow, and the Plastic Surgeons said, 'This puts a whole new face on the matter.'

The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the Urologists felt the scheme wouldn't hold water.

The Anesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas and the Cardiologists didn't have the heart to say no.

In the end, the Proctologists left the decision up to some asshole in administration.

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Buy google


link

GOOG
Google Inc. NASDAQ-GS
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Soleil Analyst Sees Buy Opportunity With Google


By John Letzing

A Wall Street analyst covering Google Inc. (GOOG) has pointed to a dip in the Internet giant's stock price as an opportunity to pick up shares on the cheap.

Soleil Securities Group analyst Laura Martin wrote in a note to clients Friday that while the Nasdaq Composite Index has fallen roughly 12% since the beginning of the year, shares of Google have slipped roughly 30%.

The online search giant posted generally disappointing second-quarter results last week, citing recent weakness in the U.S. economy.

Martin calculated that due to Google's "strategic market position" and other factors including a strong culture of innovation that should help it develop additional, valuable products, its stock contains a "growth option value" of $ 105 a share.

Combined with a valuation based solely on Google's existing businesses, Martin calculated that Google shares are actually worth $580 and raised her rating on the shares to buy.

Google shares rose more than 3.5% recently to $492.13.

Martin noted that it took rival Microsoft Corp. (MSFT) 31 years to reach net revenue of $48 billion, while Google, if it maintains its margins and other metrics, is on track to achieve the same feat after 21 years of existence.

Google is now roughly 10 years old.

-John Letzing; 415-439-6400; AskNewswires@dowjones.com

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Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Tiny Fairy



A married couple in their early 60s was celebrating their 35th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant.

Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table saying, 'For being such an exemplary married couple and for being loving to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish.'

'Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband,' said the wife.

The fairy waved her magic wand and -- poof! Two tickets for the Queen Mary II appeared in her hands.

The husband thought for a moment, and then said, 'Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again.

I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me. The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish.

So the fairy waved her magic wand and -- poof!
The husband became 92 years old.

The moral of this story:
Men who are ungrateful bastards should remember fairies are female.